


Excerpts From a Letter I'll Never Send

by imaginarionify



Category: Family Guy (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble, I Don't Even Know, I Ship It, M/M, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 09:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17937017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarionify/pseuds/imaginarionify
Summary: Don't really know what this is, but I wrote it and I loved it. Haha!





	Excerpts From a Letter I'll Never Send

**Author's Note:**

> Don't really know what this is, but I wrote it and I loved it. Haha!

_ “Excerpts I’ll never say to you, Brian.” _

* * *

I could never quite explain my feelings for you. Whether they’re romantic or platonic, I know that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being and nothing...absolutely nothing will change that.

You have to understand. 

You need to understand. 

I don’t want to share you with anyone. No one deserves you, no one understands you like I do and I think...no, I believe you know that. Maybe that’s why you insist on pushing past the limits. I know that’s why you take me for granted. I know that’s why you flaunt every new girl you bring home. 

I know that what we have terrifies you, so your impulse is to find that connection with someone else. 

When you can’t, you drown your sorrows with a bottle in hand, cradling the neck while your eyes glisten to tears that you can’t shed. You tell yourself over and over that you can’t feel this way for me, that it isn’t... _ natural _ . 

Yet…

You call me. 

Quivering, shaking...you whimper...a pathetic sound resonates in my ear while I just listen to those sounds, taking it all in and feeling delightful...that even in your stupor, you come rushing to me. 

However, each time becomes a little harder to digest. Each time you manage to find a girl, it gets harder...to breathe. 

In the beginning, I felt myself succumb to a point of reconciliation...that no matter who you may find, it’ll never work for you and fuck me...for pleading, praying...that nothing ever goes your way. 

_ “You wish...no, you **want** my relationships to fail!” _

_ “I don’t have to do shit! You jeopardize them all on your own because you can’t accept you’ll never find me in any of these people!”  _

Now I’ve noticed something almost sinister. Each woman...seems to become a little more connected, a little more...compatible to you. 

A little more...like me. 

Yeah...I know that’s exactly what you like. You enjoy the thrill, the danger, the uncertainty of this new profound...and miraculous love you have equipped. 

All at a high cost to me. 

_ “I’m so done with all of this, Stewie…” _

_ “What are you talking about?” _

_ “I’m just done. I’ll never find the right person. I’ll be dead before that happens.” _

_ “God, shut up. You have no idea how many people love you, dog. I love you. I love you, Brian. You will never understand how much I love you.”  _

I was waiting. 

I was screaming. 

I was begging you to please help me. You help everyone, so why didn’t you help me? Why were you blind to the pain you inevitably gave me when it was clear I could barely handle my own? 

Why were you blind to only me?

I never had the heart to bury you into the ground when you were happy. I never had it in me to tell you just how ridiculous you always were. How sickening you were...when you called each woman by her first name...because you must have felt so in love. You must have called it love when you called her by her first name. 

Your idea of love is a twisted one, Brian. Don’t confuse lust for love...you can look at any woman and you’ll be panting, you’ll become engulfed because you’re an animal and animals are not capable of love. Not the love you have long sought after. 

There’s no way...you...could ever understand when you have never once stopped to think maybe...just maybe the very person you have searched for...inhabited the same space as you.

Understand me, Brian. Actually think for a moment. 

You will never be happy. Not with her, definitely not with her...but I could make you the happiest. Yet you insist on acting, insist on being the fake persona of intelligence...sophistication. It’s all for show...you’re nothing but a hound dog, Brian. 

Fucking sick. 

Fucking nauseating. 

I could never call you out...until now. This letter I’ll never send to you.

Was it worth it, Brian? Was it worth it all? 

A little company...at the cost of driving me...your best friend deeper and deeper into madness. 

_ “I can’t do this anymore, Stewie...”  _

_ “Shh...I’m here. I’m right here.” _

You’ll only be happy when I’m entirely alone, when I’m miserable, and when I’m completely in the palm of your hand. There you can dictate my life, choose when you need me, choose when I am convenient to your emotional needs. 

You dare tell me I’ve conditioned you...no, you’re wrong, Brian. You’ve always been the one who made me believe no one else but you was worthy of my company. 

_ “Stewie, I want to introduce you to someone.” _

My hand grips the bottle. 

_ “This is ------.” _

It’s my turn now.

_ “Please stop it.” _

It’s my turn to feel myself drown in this sadness. 

Breathe...breathe…shaking hands grip the bottle. I bring it to my lips, liquor traveling down my throat...a burning sensation making me forget for just a moment. 

Forget you have prepared this trap for me and I have aimlessly walked into it. 

You...the spider and me...the prey. 

“Haa...I’m good...I’m good…”

_ “I’m good…” _

I cried for you...and you did  _ nothing _ . 

_ “Why can’t you be happy for me, Stewie?!” _

Oh, Brian…

My fingers clench, my stomach churns, my heart races. I’ve been down this path before. I yearned for happiness, but my happiness was always with you. 

You’re like a drug that I could never shake off. 

A toxic kiss that left traces of poison behind. 

You were like a bad trip.

_ “Haha! Happy for you?! Fine! I’m so happy for you, Brian! I’m so happy that you’ve once again found someone else to bitch about when things get too tough for you!” _

My fingers dig into the carpet. How did it all come to this? Why did it have to come to this? When...did it come to this? We’ve never had to worry about anything, we never...thought that this could go so wrong so fast. 

We would never stray. 

We never had to worry about such trivial things. 

Yet now she’s taking my place in your photos. What once was us standing side by side are now of you and her

_ “It’s okay...Stewie, it’s okay.”  _

When will it be enough for you? 

I groan, eyes tightly shut while my thoughts are clouded by such feelings of you. Of only you when you’re right beside me. Laughter swells my brain and I begin to shake. I’m angry, I’m livid...I don’t know what else to do for you. I don’t know how to make you realize just how idiotic you are. 

Though I could never rationalize anything when it came to you. Another little puzzle...you...you such a complex and diverse individual. Charismatic...an ability that drew me to you where you had taken my all and carved your very name deep...deep into my heart. 

Oh...my heart ached for you. 

My arm reaches out...and I grab my bottle again. The alcohol is almost gone and I don’t feel a thing. That’s what I get, I suppose...for praying that your date goes horribly like they always do. Yet this would be when you call me, wouldn’t it? I haven’t heard a word from you since you left. 

My shaking grows furious and I cling to the neck of my bottle for dear life, teeth clenched. 

_ “I’m...good...I’m...okay…” _

I will never be able to let this go. I’ll never be able to move on from you, Brian. I drink...what’s left of my alcohol of choice. Tonight it was just a standard...nothing fancy. Perhaps that’s why I wasn’t feeling anything. 

Nah...this was such a pathetic display. Here I was...in my bedroom, trying desperately to gather a more lucid mind because in my inner thoughts, I must have told myself I needed to loosen up...so I could make a decision. 

I can feel it, though. 

A small trail of the booze slipping past partially opened lips and for a moment, I hear your voice patronizing me. 

_ “Oooh! Stewie, don’t waste that!” _

I smirked. For whatever reason...I smirked. 

_ “Lick it clean, doggy.” _

How ridiculous...how...much was I willing to lower my standards to? Now my mind was mentally fucking with me...and taking me to an inner vivid imagination of you and I...here in this very bedroom. You with your annoyed facial expression while I was taunting you to lick the booze since you were the one so frustrated by it. 

But something felt right. The ambience in my room, filled with the lovely atmosphere of what we felt was romantic. 

I then watch you lean forward...your eyes telling me to keep focus. I feel your hot breath cascade over my cheek and I swear...I swear I froze. With my stiffening frame, a paw had reached to grip my side. 

A cold nose perched just barely on my plump cheek. 

I roll my eyes back, getting carried away by euphoria...a dwelling and agonizing sense of sexual intensity the longer you traced those lips of yours just barely...barely over mine. 

God, please…

_ “Brian…” _ _  
_

_ “Brian…” _

Lips interlock. We’re connected, we’re...together. Your lips are sweet, soft...far sweeter than I had anticipated. 

We’re kissing each other frivolously. 

Fuck whoever would come in and witness this obscene display of a forbidden love, but we're throwing caution to the wind while we touch each other everywhere. I hold onto you, draping you...loving you. 

We were meant to be like this. We were meant to toss aside rationale...we were always meant to be in this situation, Brian…

_ “Stewie…” _

My eyes snap open. 

...I tremble again. I...whimper. I feel myself slowly drift into a numbing sensation. Oh...it was so much better than to feel anything at all, but god if I hadn’t felt tears. 

Go ahead, Brian. 

I’ll be here because that’s what you want me to do. I’ll be here...waiting for you like I always do. 

“I’m good...I’m good…”


End file.
